A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist

A mother had twin children Will and Jenny. The two had entirely different outlooks on life — Will was a born pessimist while Jenny was an eternal optimist. These attitudes caused the mother a great deal of concern, particularly when it came to buying presents for them. So she decided to consult a child psychiatrist with regard to what she should buy them for Christmas. The psychiatrist told her to spend as much as she could on Will the pessimist but said that Jenny would probably be happy with anything. "Why not get a pile of manure* and wrap that up for A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist Jenny?" he suggested. "I'm sure she'd be fine with that." The mother took his advice and spent 300 dollars on presents for Will and wrapped up a heap of manure for Jenny. Christmas morning came and the kids were opening their presents. "What has Santa Glaus brought you?" she asked Will. He answered gloomily, "A bike, but I'll probably get run over while riding it; football boots, but I'll probably break my leg while playing; and an electric train set, but I'll probably electrocute myself." Realizing this wasn't going as planned, she A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist turned swiftly to Jenny. "And what has Santa Glaus brought you?" "I think I got a pony," said Jenny, up to her elbows in manure, "but I haven't been able to find it yet!"

manure — навоз

Ex 348. Use the right form of the verbs in brackets

The very next day, the first Golden Ticket (find). The finder was a boy who (call) Augustus Gloop, and evening newspapers (carry) a large picture of him on the front page. The picture showed a nine-year-old boy who was so enormously fat that he looked as though he (blow) up with a powerful pump. The A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist town in which Augustus lived, the newspapers (say), (go) wild with excitement over their hero. Flags (fly) from all the windows, children (give) a holiday from school, and a parade (organize) in honour of the famous boy. "I just knew Augustus (find) a Golden Ticket", his mother (tell) the newspapermen. "He (eat) so many bars of chocolate a day that it was almost impossible for him not to find one. Eating always (be) his hobby, you know. That's all that (interest) him. But still, that's better than being a hooligan, isn't that? And what I A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist always (say) is, he not (eat) like he (do) unless he (need) vitamins, anyway."

(after R. Dahl)

Ex. 349.Read and retell the jokes in indirect speech

1. Three elderly women were discussing the problems of growing old. One said, "Sometimes I find myself in front of the refrigerator with a jar of mayonnaise and I can't remember if I am putting it away or making a sandwich." Another said, "And I can trip on the stairs and not remember if I was walking up or down." "Oh well, I don't have those sort of problems, touch wood A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist," said the third, tapping her knuckles on the table, before adding, "That must be the door — I'll get it."

2. Two burglars were robbing an apartment block when they heard the sound of police car sirens. "Quick! Jump!" said one. "But we are on the thirteenth floor," protested the other. The first burglar said, "This is no time to be superstitious."

3. A teenage boy with spiked hair, a nose ring and baggy combat trousers told his friend, "I don't really like dressing like this, but it stops my parents from dragging me everywhere with them."

4. I had a linguistic professor who A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be, but I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals — we aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.

Ex 350. Translate into English

1. Британцы говорят, что если кошка переходит вам дорогу (to cross one's path), то это приносит удачу. 2. В этом магазинчике продают женскую одежду. На этой неделе распродают летнюю коллекцию. 3. Вчера шел дождь, а сегодня идет снег. 4. — Я знаю, о чем ты думаешь. — И о чем же я думаю? — Я думаю, ты опять мечтаешь о A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist большой круглой пицце. 5. Она ждет ребенка. Полагаю, Петр знает об этом. 6. Вечно ты пус­каешь пыль в глаза и выуживаешь комплименты! 7. Вчера он сказал, что у него никогда не было време­ни на развлечения. 8. Ну что же, дорогой профессор, Вы сделали из меня леди и выиграли свое пари. 9. Кто съел мой обед? На тарелках ничего не осталось. 10. Кто ел мой обед? На тарелках осталось мало еды. 11. Он поинтересовался, куда все ушли. 12. Он спросил, где мы были все это время. 13. Этот вопрос давно беспо­коит меня, и я давно хочу задать его вам. 14. Фермер сообщил нам, что вплоть A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist до этого дня погода была хорошая. 15. Это нечто особенное, вот увидишь. И че­рез минуту ты будешь меня благодарить. 16. Я про­бую суп, чтобы понять, не нужно ли добавить соли. Да нет, на вкус он отличный. 17. Все надеялись, что успех его последней книги значительно улучшит (to improve) его настроение. 18. Она объяснила ему, что достаточно долго прожила в Англии, чтобы знать цену деньгам (быть аккуратной с деньгами).


Ex 351. Comment on the mood of the verbs in the following sentences

1. My children ask me too many questions. 2. Now, ask your question! Go ahead! 3. Steve was sure that his teacher would answer A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist all his questions. 4.1 wouldn't ask you this question if I knew the answer. 5. Relax! There is no hurry. Take your time. 6. She looks as if she were miserable. 7.1 shall ask you for support if any need arises. 8.1 know that you will do it as soon as you can. 9.1 know that you would do it as soon as you could. 10. He promised he would go there if he had a chance. 11.1 should go if I had time. Time is money, you know. 12. — You could do it if you tried. — Shall I really make an effort? 13. You could have done A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist it if you had tried. 14. It would have been most helpful if you had done the washing. 15. If the ancient Egyptians had not had slaves, they would not have been able to build the Pyramids. 16. But for our books we would be ignorant and unaware of so many things! 17.1 know you are a great man. But your greatness would be enhanced if you said "Sorry". 18. If it weren't for the last minute, a lot of things wouldn't get done. 19. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you would get some change. 20. If you want to be A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist happy, be.

(Leo Tolstoy)

Ex. 352.Read the text and find the cases of the Imperative Mood Translate them into Russian

It was Matilda's first day in Miss Honey's class. After the usual business of going through all the names of the children, Miss Honey said, "Now this is the very first day of school for each one of you. It is the beginning of at least eleven long years of schooling that all of you are going to have to go through. And six of those years will be spent right here at Crunchen! Hall where, as you know, your A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist Headmistress is Miss Trunchbull. She insists upon strict discipline throughout the school,and if you take my advice you will do your very best to behave yourselves in her presence. Never argue with her. Never answer her back. Always do as she says. If you get on the wrong side of Miss Trunchbull she can liquidize you like a carrot in a kitchen blender. It's nothing to laugh about, Lavender. Take that grin off your face. All of you will be wise to remember that Miss Trunchbull deals very very severely with anyone who gets A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist out of line in this school. Have you got the message?" "Yes, Miss Honey," chirruped eighteen eager little voices.

(after R. Dahl)

Ex 353. Translate into English

I. Относитесь к этому легче. 2. Замри! Вольно! 3. Улыб­нитесь и расслабьтесь! 4. Давайте не будем ссориться! 5. Бюрократы! Боже, спаси меня от них! 6. Будь собой! 7. Ну, ну, дорогая, не плачь! 8. Никогда не доверяйте незнакомым людям. 9. Откройте широко рот и ска­жите А! 10. Никогда, никогда не пререкайтесь со мной!

II. Голосуйте за нашего кандидата! 12. Пусть играет музыка, пусть поют голоса, (давайте) будем вместе до конца! 13. Не обращайте внимания на собачку, она про­сто играет. 14. Не смейте опять делать что-то A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist через мою голову (to go over one's head). 15. Держись от меня подальше! Проваливай! 16. Сохраняй спокойствие! (Не горячись!) 17. Наслаждайся жизнью! 18. Береги­тесь воров! 19. Парковки нет! 20. Здесь не курят! 21. Не волнуйся! Будь счастлив!

Ex 354. Read and translate the sentences into Russian Pay attention to the mood of the verb

1. If no one were allowed to ignore the rules, language would stagnate. 2. If I lived in England, I wouldn't have any problems with my English. 3. If people trusted and respected each other, it would make life easier. 4. If I could read people's thoughts, it would be interesting to know A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist all beforehand. 5. If you met her, you would fall in love with her at first sight. 6. If I were ill, I wouldn't eat anything. The best remedy would be to starve a day or two. 7. If Caroline didn't love roses, he wouldn't give them to her on her birthdays. 8. If Alison had bought the dress yesterday, she would have spent all her money. 9. Just imagine what chaos there would be if we lived in a society without laws! 10. If you had given us a hint, we would have guessed your secret then. 11. If Olga hadn A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist't been so exhausted, she might have been suspicious of this. 205

12. It would have been helpful if someone had met me at the airport and had taken me to the hotel. 13. He says that if he could start his life anew, he wouldn't change anything. 14. If the babysitter had arrived at the appointed time, we would have met. 15. Your house plants wouldn't have died if you had watered them regularly. 16. If Bobbie were less curious, he wouldn't have asked us so many personal questions yesterday. 17. If Liz had tried harder at college, she would be more successful now A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist. 18. Mary gave Joe a smile that would have melted half the ice in the Arctic Circle. 19. There are some subjects I wouldn't discuss with people I don't know quite well.

Ex. 355.Read the following sentences and give their Russian equivalents

1. A blind man would be glad to see. 2. An unfortunate man would be drowned in a teacup. 3. The cat would eat fish and would not wet her paws. 4. If ifs and ands were pots and pans, there would be no work for tinker's hands. 5. If my aunt had been a man, she'd have A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist been my uncle.

6. If there were no clouds, we would not enjoy the sun. 7. If only youth had the knowledge; if only age had the strength! 8. If youth knew what old age would crave, it would both get and save. 9. Life would be too smooth if it had no rubs in it. 10. If fools wore white caps, we would seem a flock of geese. 11. If there were no fools, there would be no wise men. 12. If riches were granted, even beggars would become rich. 13. If you had as little money as manners, you'd be the poorest of your kin. 14. If A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist wishes were fishes, you'd need a whole ocean to hold all of mine' Happy Birthday! 15. If he were to fall into the pond, he would come out with a fish in his mouth.

Ex. 356.Change the Indicative Mood of the verb into the Present Conditional

1.1 use my computer every day. 2. She cares for Jack, she loves him. 3. Fred reads newspapers regularly. 4. The friends play golf every weekend. 5. She is scared and 206

will lock the door. 6. Brian sometimes agrees with his father. 7.1 consult my family doctor now and then. 8. He is a reliable person and can help you A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist. 9. We call them very often. 10. She is always easy to deal with. 11. He will do his best, but he has no chance. 12. The Parkers S can afford a big house. 13. The weather may change again. 14. We may never meet again.

Ex 357. Complete the sentences by using the Past Conditional of . verbs in brackets

1. He didn't know anything about the party, or he (come). 2. The doctor told me nothing about the new treatment, or I (try) it. 3. Why didn't you consult your tutor? He (advise) you what to do. 4. We couldn't get in touch with each other, or A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist we (avoid) a lot of trouble. 5. There were no computers in those times, or my father (learn) them. 6. He was pressed for time last week or he (visit) his in-laws. 7. Helen didn't buy the dress though it was just what she wanted. In her place I (buy) it. 8. Michael finally made up with his son or he (change) his will. 9. Why didn't you ask me? I (can) (give a lift) you to the fitness centre. 10. It really was hitting news or everybody (take) it easy. 11. — You've got into a mess again! — Really, you (can) (be A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist) more careful! 12. Olga's mother did all the housework, or she (learn) how to cook. 13. She had an alibi or the police (arrest) her. 14. The new perfume was too sweet or I (buy) it. 15. The serial was too long otherwise I (watch) it to the end. 16. If it weren't for electricity, we all still (watch) television by candlelight.

Ex 358. Make the sentences complete by using either the Present or Past Conditional

1. But for the strained circumstances ... . 2. But for my boss's recommendation.... 3. But for unfavourable weather ... . 4. But for Charles' profound knowledge .... 5. But for her intelligence and smartness ... . 6. But for the house A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist being too big .... 7. But for the manager's competence ... . 8. But for the children being left all alone in the house ... . 9. But for the pizza being too spicy ... 10. But for Francis's dark suspicions ... . 11. But for this awkward misunderstanding .... 12. But for the girl being too sophisticated.... 13. But for English being So universally popular.... 14. But for the lovely and unexpected surprise ... . 15. But for the tiresome hurly. burly of the city ....

Ex. 359. Translate into English

1. Я была бы очень рада встретиться с вами вновь. 2. Если бы не невезение, то он бы выиграл в лотерею. 3. — А что бы вы сделали тогда на моем A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist месте? — Я бы уехала. 4. Татьяна едет отдыхать в Юрмалу. А я бы поехала на Кипр. 5. Марина не хочет мириться с Валерием. На ее месте я бы помирилась с ним. Он славный парень. 6. Катя опять купила новое платье. Я бы посоветовала ей не тратить так много денег. 7. Какой сладкий джем! Я не положила бы так много сахара. 8. — Ты опять гулял под дождем? — Я не стала бы делать этого. У тебя ведь простуда. 9. — Не беспо­койтесь, я позвоню вам. — Была бы очень вам при­знательна. 10. Что вы сказали? Не могли бы вы по­вторить это? 11. Какая жалость, что вы не A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist читали эту книгу! Вы могли бы найти в ней много полезной ин­формации. 12. — Я надеюсь получить эту работу. — Если бы не низкая оплата, любой ухватился бы за такой шанс. 13. — Агата готова принять предложение Росса. — Если бы не финансовые трудности, это была бы неплохая партия. 14. Моя дочь не хочет читать романы Диккенса. А я бы их перечитала. 15. — А вы изменили бы свое решение при других обстоятель­ствах? — Нет, я бы стоял на своем. 16. Жаль, потому что из него точно получился бы хороший актер.

Ex. 360. Transform the verb to be into the Present or Past Subjunctive, to express an unreal wish.

Model: It A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist's not sunny today. — If it were sunny today!

It was foggy yesterday. — If it hadn't been foggy yesterday!

1. It's autumn now. 2. He isn't my friend. 3. She wasn't my teacher. 4. This dress isn't my size. 5. I'm not happy about it. 6. The bag was too expensive. 7.1 am a dreamer. 8. My holiday wasn't long. 9. This money isn't mine. 10. The party is very dull. 11. The secretary isn't efficient. 12. The car was out of order. 13. The boss is out. 14. We were scared. 15. English phonetics is so difficult! 16. Uncountable nouns are so misleading!

Ex 361. Transform the A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist sentences into unreal ones, paying particular intention to the use of the negative particle not where necessary

Model: Simon smokes too much. — If Simon didn't smoke so much! /

She didn't learn the news. — If she had learned the news!

1. Our neighbours visit us every weekend. 2. He didn't notice me. He ignored me. 3.1 don't often meet my school friends now. 4. The children don't obey their grand­parents. 5. Emma had too much work to do last week. 6.1 have to work even on Sunday. 7. Theresa didn't help her mother about the house. 8. The dog eats too A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist much meat. 9. Nobody knew his address or telephone number. 10.1 don't speak English fluently. 11. They have no chance to travel. 12. Ridge makes friends too easily. 13. Nelly went there too late. 14. She doesn't often go to the theatre. 15. My sister buys too many things.

Ex 362. Make the following sentences with the modal verb can

Model: — You can't speak to the boss now, he is busy. — If the boss were not busy, you could speak to him now. — They couldn't join us, it was too late. — They could have joined us if it hadn't been so late A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist.

1. The children can't play this game in the house. They are so noisy! 2. You can't watch this film before going to bed. It's a horror film. 3. We couldn't listen to the pop-concert. It started too late. 4.1 can't sing at all I've lost my voice. 5. Angela couldn't dance with Nick. They had quarrelled. 6. They can't show you all the sights of the city. They are working all the week. 7. Раm can't afford this ring. She earns too little money. 8. We can't relax at the moment. There is some work to do A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist. 9. Nobody in the office knows Turkish. We can't read the letter. 10. The child can't tell the truth. He is too scared. 11.1 can't help you out. I'm leaving the city. 12. My grandparents can't live in the country all the year round. There are no conveniences in the cottage. 13. My friends and I couldn't meet very often. Everybody was so busy! 14. I can't sit and watch the telly with you! I have to cook supper. 15. The police can't find the robbers. They didn't leave any traces.

Ex. 363.Join the sentences making them A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist unreal

1. He's getting fat. He doesn't take much exercise. 2. He smokes about 50 cigarettes a day. He is always coughing. 3. She goes to bed very late. She feels tired in the morning. 4. He is not a strong child. He never eats fruit. 5. Jack doesn't listen to the teacher very carefully. He makes a lot of mistakes. 6. Unfortunately I don't know his address. I can't write to him. 7. Marina went to the market too late. She couldn't buy any fresh strawberries. 8. You didn't sweep the room properly. It's dirty. 9. The play was A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist boring. Some people didn't even watch it to the end. 10. Yuri didn't even try to do the job. It wasn't done. 11. Molly felt that the woman was deceiving her. So she didn't obey her. 12. My T-shirt shrank. I think I didn't dry it properly. 13. The flowers have died. You constantly forget to water them-14. The tourists didn't wear sensible shoes. Now they have blisters. 15. The store is not well located. It doesn't attract many customers.

Ex 364.Complete the following sentences using the suitable mood of verb

I. It snowed all day otherwise ... . 2. We would A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist join you .... 3. If our building were better located, ... . 4. Henry, wouldn't have said that ... . 5. If Alison had found time, .... 6. But for the hint.... 7. If my father were there, ... . 8. The sea was stormy otherwise ... . 9. But for the dense fog .... 10. If there were no television, .... II. Life would be very dull... . 12. If you used your brains, .... 13. The boss would have raised my wages .... 14. But for the ecological situation .... 15. If you were not such a spendthrift, ... . 16. But for bad luck ... .

Ex 365. Make up a story by combining the sentences and making unreal

Model. If David hadn't got an invitation he A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist wouldn't have gone to the party. If he ....

I. 1. David got an invitation. 2. He went to the party. 3. David drank too much. 4. He got drunk. 5. David drove dangerously. 6. He had an accident. 7. David was seriously injured. 8. He had to be taken to hospital.

II. 1. Lucy saw the advertisement. 2. She went for an interview. 3. Lucy got the job. 4. She met Alan. 5. He asked her out. 6. They fell in love with each other. 7. Alan proposed to her. 8. They got married.

Ex 366. Complete the sentences

1. If you pay your money right now, .... 2. If I had known this was so difficult, ... . 3. If you did A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist what your parents advise you, ... . 4. If it is fine weather tomorrow, ... . 5. If there were no oxygen in the air, .... 6. If the campers had put up the tents accurately, ... . 7. If Mary had not been idle all this time, now... . 8. If the child eats too much, .... 9. If you know what to do, .... 10. If I were King, .... 11. If he was late this morning again, ... . 12. Napoleon would have taken England, .... 13. A student soon forgets what he has learned, unless .... 14. Had I known how dangerous this journey was, .... 15. If this matter were not so costly, ....

Ex. 367.Translate into English

1. Ты уверена в своем выборе A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist мебели? Я бы предпоч­ла что-нибудь более современное. 2. Мне не нравятся портьеры на кухне. Я бы их сменила. 3. Лена, ты не устала от этой громкой музыки? На твоем месте я бы давно выключила радио, хотя бы на время. 4. Она все еще любит его, а то бы они давно расстались. 5. Тебе не кажется, что вино слишком терпкое? Я бы пред­почла сухое вино. 6. Если бы не холодный климат, то мы никогда бы не носили вещи из натуральных ме­хов. 7. Если он будет более терпелив со своими деть­ми, то их отношения значительно улучшатся. 8. Ах, если бы мне не приходилось A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist так рано вставать по ут­рам, чтобы вывести на прогулку собаку! Я мог бы по­дольше поспать. 9. Сейчас она прекрасно понимает, что если бы вышла замуж за Бориса, то они были бы не­счастливы. 10. Я бы не купила это платье, если бы это не была последняя мода. 11. Какие красивые цве­ты! Если бы я не дотронулась до них, то никогда бы не подумала, что они искусственные. 12. Если бы Мол­ли поддалась соблазну и взяла волшебный браслет, то эта история имела бы совершенно другой конец. 13. Если бы дети не были вконец измучены, то они не уснули бы в самый разгар A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist рождественских приготов­лений. 14. Если бы не это глупое замечание Майкла, Джейн не обиделась бы. 15. Если бы наш климат был более стабильным, то многие люди не страдали бы от резких перемен погоды.

Ex. 368.Make the following sentences conditional (real or unreal), starting with If

1. It's important to protect wildlife now or there will be nothing left for future generations. 2. He's not a millionaire. He won't buy you a house. 3. The schoolchildren sowed some seeds, but they forgot to water them, so the seeds didn't grow. 4. He hopes he will get rich one day and will see the world A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist. 5. When they were young many people didn't realize that smoking was dangerous. Now they are having serious health problems. 6.1 couldn't stop the car. There was an accident. 7. They are leaving soon and it makes me unhappy. 8. He didn't enjoy school, so he didn't do very well. 9. Time flies! You can never think of your future. 10. The fax hasn't come yet. We can't act. 11. It was raining quite hard, but Mary went out wearing thin sandals, and her feet soon got wet. 12. He bought the house without consulting the agent. Now he realizes it A Born Pessimist and an Eternal Optimist wasn't a sensible thing to do. 13. Helen ate too much birthday cake. She was sick. 14. Heidi is going to eat the whole cake. She is sure to fall ill.

Ex 369. Read or sing the following

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